When someone comes to me feeling fearful, the first question I always ask is, “What do you like to have instead?” Whether it’s just one thing now, in the moment, or a bigger vision out into the future. Clearly knowing what you want gives you the opportunity to make your best choices that propel you forward in the right direction.
Ideally, you “take off” and fly with it. Pulling up a vision of depth and breadth that keeps you soaring. It inspires you. Next you flesh out the details and set a plan of action. Then it’s just a matter of staying on track and doing it one step at a time.
Feeling Fearful
But what about all those times when it’s not so easy? When fear shows up before you even get off the ground? Or do you get just so far and feeling fearful shows up again and again? What do you do when you know you’re sabotaging yourself?
Doing what you want doesn’t mean it’s always easy. It’s good to acknowledge the fear because it can help you watch out for potential pitfalls and to be prepared. The problem is, when you make decisions out of fear and change your trajectory towards your goals you end up somewhere completely different than what you’ve dreamed of.
Calming Fear In The Moment
There are some techniques that are helpful, especially in the moment you’re experiencing them. I love this one: As soon as you recognize that you’re feeling fearful, acknowledge it in your mind. Then imagine taking those thoughts, and throwing them into a bonfire. And watch it burn up and dissipate into the atmosphere. Then move on.
Of course, it will come back again and again until it’s gone. It’s one thing to deal with fear in the moment and quite another to release it permanently – which is totally possible.
Most fear comes out of past painful experiences that you are still carrying. Experiences that you haven’t yet come to terms with. So what do you do when fear shows up? You can watch the sabotage kick in and choose what fear tells you for quick relief, or get the guidance you need, which takes longer and goes deeper. We all need help sometimes and when you’re stuck with fear it’s one of those times.
Release Feeling Fearful Permanently
Find someone who has the skills and abilities to guide you through a process of releasing it. To be clear, I’m not talking about getting advice nor am I suggesting that you find a drug to cover it up (although drugs are sometimes appropriate). I’m talking about acknowledging feeling fearful, taking responsibility for what’s yours and what’s not. For forgiving behaviors not because they’re ok, because you’re the one whose suffering. And I’m not just talking about what’s on the surface. Our subconscious minds and unconscious thoughts drive many of our feelings and behaviors. And that includes beliefs that are no longer serving you.
There are many different approaches to healing emotional pain including fear. In my Life Coaching Practice, sometimes I use Homeopathic Gem Essence Therapy, other times I “walk” people through a process of acknowledging, healing, releasing, and integrating new perspectives.
Once that’s done, your point of view shifts to discern when the fear is appropriate or not. You become stronger and stronger about making heart-felt decisions that keep you on track to create the life you want. You’ll notice how freeing it is to not keep dealing with that fear over and over again!
Stay Focused On What You Want
When feeling fearful is “out of the way” then refocus on ‘What do I want?” Tap into your deepest knowing to make choices, and step by step move forward in a healthy, inspiring way. Enjoy the journey.
When you find a guide who is a good “fit” for you, stay with it until you get the results you want. If you’re not getting some significant results by working with someone regularly for 6 months, try someone else.
Once that fear is out of the way, you’re able to refocus on what you want. Heart based conscious choices always lead you towards happiness and fulfillment where fear based choices always keep you stuck in fear.
When fear shows up, that’s the opportunity to face it down and take back control. If you’re feeling fearful and ready to conquer it, take action and book a Discovery Session Now.
