Guest Contributor
Fear – Friend or Foe?
In 1933 at the height of the Great Depression, President Franklin Roosevelt told the nation, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” That is just as true today as we head into this challenging COVID-19 storm as it was then.
Fear depresses the immune system thereby weakening the body’s natural defenses against disease and it clouds our thinking. The fight or flight response activates the amygdala, which is the emotional, instinctive center of our brain. Decisions made here are quick, reactive, and emotionally or instinctively driven rather than calm and well-reasoned.
In addition, during fight or flight mode we’re so focused on the problem that we’re very likely to miss the very ideas, resources, and opportunities we seek to solve that problem.
Napoleon Hill, who wrote Think and Grow Rich in 1937 said, “Each adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” However, it’s up to us to look for, find, and nurture that seed if we’re going to reap the benefits, and that takes a certain mindset.
Now the fear response isn’t all bad. It helped our ancestors survive many real dangers which were ever present. However, in today’s world, that fight or flight response is being triggered during non-threatening situations like giving a big presentation, meeting a work deadline, or merely thinking about what might happen with COVID-19. And these stressors triggered by our thoughts don’t have a clear off switch, so the stress becomes chronic, suppresses our immune system, and manifests in our bodies as dis-ease.
Stepping Out of Fear
Now I’d like to give you some tools you can use to step out of fear and harness the incredible power of your thoughts so you can create a life you love instead of the life you fear. How you choose to perceive the COVID-19 pandemic is what will determine your experience of it, for better or worse.
You have two powerful tools with you at all times to help you step out of fear. Tool #1 is to Notice What You’re Noticing – become more aware of your thoughts. Research tells us that 95% of our thoughts are subconscious, and you cannot change something unless you’re aware of it, so start tuning in to your thoughts. And everything is created first in thought – everything must first be a thought before it can ever be a thing.
So, check in periodically and notice what you’re feeling because our thoughts actually cause our feelings. Our thoughts cause our feelings, our feelings cause our actions, and our actions cause our results. So, our results are reflective of our thoughts or are like our thoughts solidified into form.
For example, you’re holding onto fearful thoughts so you feel stressed and anxious and your immune system is depressed; you take very different actions when you’re feeling stressed, tired or sick than you do when you’re feeling rested, refreshed, and energized; and you’ll create far different results.
Calm the Nervous System
So, check in frequently and when you catch yourself going down the rabbit hole of fear hit the “pause” button – quit telling yourself that story, quit feeding those fears – and then use Tool #2 – Your Breathing to calm your nervous system.
- Take a deep breath in thru your nose, bringing to mind something you’re grateful for. When we breathe in through our nose it signals our nervous system that we’re safe. We can’t run from danger and breathe through our nose at the same time.
- Hold that breath at the top for a couple of counts. I like to imagine giving it a little hug because that breath of life is so very precious. And bring to mind something for which you are grateful. Gratitude is on a high frequency that is harmonic with abundance. It’s nearly impossible to think thoughts of gratitude and feel depressed at the same time.
- And then slowly exhale thru your mouth as if blowing through a straw and imagine releasing any thoughts or feelings of fear, anxiety, or worry.
Do this as many times as you need until you feel calm, relaxed and centered.
This takes you out of the fight-or-flight response of the sympathetic nervous system and into the relax-restore-create energy of the parasympathetic nervous system. This is the system responsible for keeping things balanced in the body, keeping you relaxed, and helping you conserve and restore energy. This helps you stay healthy and also able to think more clearly.
These slow deep breaths take you out of the fight-or-flight response of the sympathetic nervous system and into the relax-restore-create energy of the parasympathetic nervous system. This is the system responsible for keeping things balanced in the body, keeping you relaxed, helping you conserve and restore energy, stay healthy and think more clearly.
Shift Our Level of Thinking
Einstein told us, “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.”
Now, I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t plan for future events, but planning is a response, it’s a chosen course of action, which is very different from reacting out of worry and fear. Think of the serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Deal with the problems you have right now and have faith that whatever comes at you tomorrow you’ll handle it. Mark Twain said, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened,” so don’t waste your energy trying to solve future problems most of which won’t happen.
If we’re focused on or tuned to the frequency of the problem, we’re not going to see the solutions because they are on a different frequency, just as what’s on Discovery channel is not available to us when we’re tuned to CNN.
So, first imagine the result or outcome you would love to have in this situation – imagine it in great detail with it all worked out just the way you would love. What does that look like and feel like? You are tuning your receiver, your mind, to the frequency of the solution, the frequency of what you want. Then apply this five-step process for finding the best solution.
5-Step Solution-Finding Process
- Source ideas – Focusing all your energy and attention on the desired outcome, brainstorm ideas. Ask yourself, “What actions can I take today – with what I have – from where I am that will move me toward my desired results?” Write down every idea that comes to mind, even the crazy ones. Don’t edit yourself at this point – and don’t stop until you have at least 20 ideas written down. The first ideas that come to you will probably not be the best ones, just as the first water that comes out of a pump is often stale or brackish.
- Next, Sort these ideas – circle the ones with the most “juice” or charge to them – cross out any that don’t feel good or make you feel contracted.
- Now Select – Put a number by each of the circled ideas indicating their priority or importance to you.
- Schedule them – literally put them on your calendar. Maybe it’s “meditate 15 minutes every morning from 7-7:15” or “reach out to family and friends from noon-1 Saturday and Sunday.” There is a lot of power in the structure provided by your calendar so use it.
- Then Serve those ideas by acting upon them.
Try this process and see if it doesn’t shift your energy and shift the frequency of your thinking from that of the problem to that of your desired results. I think you’ll be amazed at all the ideas that come to you when you raise your level of thinking as Einstein suggested.
Action Steps
So ask yourself today, what actions can I take from where I am and with the resources I have to stay safe, healthy, and positive during these challenging times?
I hope these tips help you step out of fear and calm your nervous system so you can think clearly, see and seize the opportunities within the adversity, and emerge victorious on the other side armed and ready to create the next bigger version of your life.
If you would like help clarifying your challenges, envisioning the life you’d love to be living, and mapping out the next best actions to take to get you there, please contact me at info@SondraLeeLifeCoach.com. I set aside time each month for a limited number of Discovery Sessions, 60-minute 1:1 phone conversations that help you gain clarity on where you are, where you want to go, and how to get there.
Contact Sondra at info@SondraLeeLifeCoach.com; www.SondraLee.LifeMasteryConsultant.com; FB: Sondra Lee, Life Mastery Consultant, @CreateYourDreamsToday; IG: LiveYourDream.Today.
